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[04 Aug 2006|09:56pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

Some funny things:

1. People that "hate" my boyfriend
2. Pathetic people that try to break us up
3. Ex boyfriends that think they're still "in"
4. The word mastication
5. Your face


being home

ex boyfriends
CD players

I feel like every so often I should update this, just to give people the D.L on my life. Nothing much new has happened besides exboyfriends thinking they're IN again, when of course they're totally OUT.

Some people are so D2M right now. I dont even talk to my friends. Whatever.

I was at the mall with Ali today. It was too much fun. I swear we screamed "Apple-C" like 100 times. That is a best friend. No one reads my mind quite like Ali.

The last couple weeks of summer Ali and I are venturing to New York. She wants to look at colleges and of course, be Ali and I wanna shop. :) Michigan fashion is beginning to bore me.

School starts in like 3 weeks. Cross Country starts Monday. Yuckzilla. What kind of drug was I on when I decided to do that. I swear I'm going to look like a total LBR to like everyone.

Whatever. Who cares. Michigan is boring.

Bring On The Big Apple!

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Oooh shes fallin again [19 Jun 2006|09:42pm]
[ mood | thinkin about him ]

"not really repliing to the post.....havent spoken to you in a few days...my fault i suppose....are you going to ba at ryans grad. party?.....if so maybe we can talk there....i understand if you dont want to....later


i miss you"

the p.s was the best part.
i like how he cant spell
and how he puts "....." in between everything
he's so amazing.
he makes me smile

and yes i did go to Ryan's party
and I did see him there
and he gave me !2! hugs
one of which was gross because he was sweaty
but it still made me happy

=] he makes me happy =]


cant wait till i see him again
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I believe in a thing called love [04 Jun 2006|02:00pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

I'm so sick of these games
I hate liking people because this is how I get
I'm supposed to be working extremely hard
to finish my final for Advanced Composition
but suprise! suprise!
I can't work on it
because I can't get him off my mind

Every second I'm talking to him
I have this huge goofy smile on my face
and then I laugh for no reason

and he is a dork
and he is a nerd
and he is weird
but it's all those things
that make him perfect

God I just don't understand
how one person can make me feel this way

He's supposed to be calling me today
Although...he was supposed to call me yesterday
and I had to call him before he remembered
even if he says that technically he still called me

We all know I'm right

I'm like weirdly excited that he's calling
which I shouldnt be
because I'm only setting myself up to be let down
but I guess I can't help it.

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There's Just Too Much That Time Can Not Erase [28 Apr 2006|05:49pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Keith Urban, soft lighting and a romance novel
are what make a girl
Going to movies &&smoking on street corners
head held high, hair whipping into my face is what I am now
A feet on the dashboard, swearing for no reason, piccking my nails to death, listening to shitty country music kind of tragedy
Respect It, Love It, Own It.
I've always been this carwreck
it's just worse when I feel the need to slip into the "scene"
I say "scene" like it's a dirty word
Under my breath, in whispers to best friends
like it's an incredible secret
I sit in the passenger seat of my favorite
dirty little secrets pickup truck,
singing along to the radio.
It's who I am now.
Some fucked up "scene" Barbie doll
sewn together with fishing wire.
I'm a line of sins a mile long.
Picking me apart is my friend's favorite hobby.
"Find out what makes her tick!" they all scream as they dive for my chest cavity scapel in hand.
They don't know what my life is liek when I'm not in that prison.
The parties I attend, drink in hand, cigarette perched between my fingers.
I make it all look easy.
Dragging on teh cigarette enough
to make my head spina nd make this party fun.
They're usually laced with pot, but that's just like me not to care.
The drinks always burn my throat going down.
At least the first 2 or 3 do anyways.
The 4,5,6 and somtimes 7th are hard to remember.
I barely wince as the burning travels down my throat.
No I never wince.
Wincing is weakness.
I'm Dorthoy clicking my heels together, because I want to go home.
I'm going home to the fights and the screaming.
I'm going home to the "You're not good enough"
and the "You're so much better then this!".
Then my spirit softens itself till about 3 a.m.
That's when I hear those 4 small clicks
car keys on a window pane, every Tuesday and Thursday night.
Then I'm out the window and back into the aforementioned pickup truck.
Windows down, feet up, cigarettes lit, wind blown hair, singing along to the radio.
I can talk and be heard.
Here is where I can be me.
My life is this boy's concern.
We drive for fear of going home.
When I get tired he turns on something soft and I fall into the crook of his arm.
Tired from the track practice I hate
The work that annoys me
The family that hates me
The grades that arent good enough
The drama that is just stupid shit
and the fucking school that wears me down
I doze to the sound of that lovely boy singing badly to the radio, the something soft he turns on for me.
He brings me home and I'm okay with that.
I slip into my room, under the covers and survive another day.
He makes me right, when I'm wrong.
He makes the "scene" not exist.
He makes me feel like I'm part of something real
All teh cigarettes on street corners and the anorexic girls that puke in the bathroom of our favorite, worn down, old school, coffee house and all the slits on shitty, whiny, little emo girls wrists and all the shitty bands we've wasted our hard earned money on don't matter when they should.
Will I?
Won't I?
How Will I?
These are not concerns now.
All the preppy girls that dash my confidence with one slashing, ripping glance are but actors in a play in the back of my head on these nights.

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Friends Only Bitches [01 Jun 2005|05:04pm]
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